My bags are packed, I'm ready to go

Ok, guess what song I've had in my head the last few days? It may sound a little cheesy, but I couldn't help it. I'll give you a hint -- it started when all my bags were packed two days ago. Another big hint, I'm leaving on a plane tomorrow, and yes, it is a jet plane.

As I said, I couldn't help it, my bags have been sitting there at the end of the bed staring at me for two days. I should say, though, that 'leaving on a jet plane' isn't technically all that appropriate for my situation. It's about separation, but in my case I'm flying toward the opposite of that. I haven't seen my wife in 6 weeks, and with friends and family members it's been about 9 1/2 months. I think it's needless to say that I have been looking forward to this point for quite some time. It will certainly be good to have a 'normal' lifestyle again with my own apartment where I'm able to see my wife on a day-to-day basis. Ahh, such fond memories of those days. As I'm writing this, YT was just on-line chatting with me about favorite food she's bought and special dishes she is going to make, where she wants to go out for dinner when I get back, and the plans she's making for my return. I really can't wait to be home.

Still, the song seems somewhat poignant. Maybe it's just the melody, or maybe because I already am separated, perhaps. Either way, when you've been gone so long, it's never just a simple matter of an eager return. Over the past few weeks, as the list of 'last-experiences' started piling up, my eagerness has been tempered somewhat by the realization of things I've appreciated and will miss. I started to mull over a list... the kids screaming 'Brian Yizhang!' (uncle Brian) when I come home, formal(ish) dinners out with the family, eating fish everyday, the NPR podcasts on my hour-long commute home, meeting and interviewing all different kinds of people, and so on. It always felt incomplete and superficial, though, and never fully captured the strange level of sadness (in my jubilance) I feel about going home. Today, I think I finally understand what I will miss the most, and that is, language learning and the growth in relationships that provides. Allow me to explain.

I've always felt that the learning curve of studying a language abroad is steep and easy to perceive. It's almost addicting. At first you feel like a child, but you gradually adapt and change, and months later you're able to express your ideas as, well, a junior high school student at least. The point is, you can see with a moment's reflection just how far you've come, and how what had been interesting and exotic is now secondhand. I love that feeling and sense of 'growth'. When I first came here, although I had proficiency in Chinese and was able to communicate for my purposes, it was difficult to follow natural rates of conversation when the speaker was not directly addressing me. Now, that's not such of a problem. This has made a great difference in the degree to which I can participate more fully in the culture, in my surroundings, and more particulary, within YT's family.

For example, the other night, YT's parents took me out to dinner. It was Thursday night, so they didn't have to pick up the grandkids from school before their mom came to get them. Since it was one of my last evenings, they decided to take me to a very nice Japanese restaurant rather than just stay at home. To be honest, I had felt a bit of trepidation about it at first. It is seldom just the three of us, and I wasn't sure how it would go. I had a wonderful time with them, though. We talked about US politics, raising bi-racial kids, dad's experiences at work under a new administration, their plans to stay with us in the US for a month or so (at some future point), and of course their daughter (my wife). They also said they're glad that YT gets along so well with my family, and that they don't really worry about her when I'm there with her. It was nice to hear that.

Essentially, my point is that it felt great to be able to communicate with them more naturally, and to feel so comfortable doing so. It seems that, over the last few weeks at least, I've been able to appreciate things here much more fully. I feel that with greater proficiency I can be more of a participant in the family, rather than, to put it coldly, a foreign exchange student of sorts. The ironic thing is that, just as this is happening, it's time for me to leave. Last night my 5 year old nephew was crying because he didn't want me to go back to the US (he's rather sentimental). When he hugged me goodbye, I really didn't know what to say. I know that I will really miss being an uncle, and having the opportunity to watch the kids change even more than they have over this last 9 1/2 months. I will also miss being a brother- and son-in-law as well, and I wish I had more opportunity to communicate even more proficiently with them all. Perhaps that will come with more time and advanced learning. Right now, of course, and more importantly, it will feel wonderful to be a full-time husband again (among other roles). I think that pretty much sums things up.

I have one last dinner out with the family tonight, and this time that includes YT's aunts and cousins and the cousin and his family who I rode with to school every morning. With that, the last day of my lengthy stay in Taiwan will draw to a close. Tomorrow at early morn, I'll be on my way : )

See you all, or at least some of you, soon.
BB

Parting -- Redux

So, after a period of about three months, YT's extended visit in Taiwan has come to an end. My parents-in-law and I saw YT off at the airport this morning. I must say it does feel a little strange to say goodbye to her, then ride in the car with her parents back to Taibei without her. It just doesn't seem right. It's not natural, really, living with your in-laws while your spouse is somewhere else. It's like some strange vortex dragged YT off to the US and left me behind at her home, or by some bizarre case of mistaken identity we were switched at the airport. "Hey, you're not our daughter!" "Nope, I'm the long lost son you thought you never had, Ma & Pa!"

But to be honest, strange as it is, the parting doesn't seem so bad this time. I'm not going to say it's because it's happened before, been there done that, and we're used to it. It's not really something I want to be used to. The main difference this time is that I will be going back in about five weeks, which ought to go quickly (I think). It's also a set period, while last time we didn't know in advance how long it would be. Five weeks is a paltry sum compared to, as it turned out, four months.

It's also possible, of course, that the five weeks could drag on. I've enjoyed things here, and it has been a wonderful opportunity to know YT's family and cultural background on a much deeper level. I'm very thankful for this opportunity. It's like 19 years of annual 2-week visits crammed into one experience, and I get to know my neices and nephews while they are still young and impressionable. I think it will make all subsequent visits much more meaningful. Plus, I have my own references and memories when YT talks about her family or childhood. But, I'm ready to be back in the states. I've been here almost 8 months by now, but I've never really settled down 'roots' of my own. I've just been borrowing YT's. I'm looking forward to being back where things feel less... temporary. But hopefully it won't be much of a wait.

In the meantime, I'll still be scrounging around for the remaining participants needed for my data collection, and finishing the last month of my Chinese classes. And, of course, though hopefully only sporadically, I'll also be wishing I were someplace else.

Patiently yours, BB

Weekend Excursions

Well, it has been a while since I've written, and I'm sorry about that. But, I do have a good excuse. I've been busy. We've been busy. The last four or so weekends in a row, YT&I have been away (together) for one reason or another. First we went on an excursion with the family to MiaoLi (close to TaiZhong) and stayed in a B&B, the next weekend to Tainan, then after that to HuaLien with a friend of YT's and her husband, then next was camping in HsinZhu with the family again. Finally, this weekend, I have a bit of time to collect some thoughts, and write a post and upload some photos (though not necessarily in that order).

I could describe these experiences in wordy detail, but I think it's best to let the pictures do the talking. I don't think I can get more than 1000 words out of my fingers right now anyway, and you might not want a long exegisis to begin with. The photos have been hand-picked and arranged in a photo-album sort of arrangment, with captions (except for, as of yet, most of the HuaLien trip) to delight you all (maybe). There are also links to short snippets of video from the camping trip posted as well. In case you're wondering whether it's worth your while to view the pics, here is a brief sampling of what you might miss if you don't make the click. The servers are standing by now.

_

Who is that person standing in the background on those rocks, you might be asking, and why are bystanders watching while Brian grimmaces and holds up a big wooden stick with goo at the end? Just click on and find out. You won't be disappointed. Or, at least if you are, I probably won't find out. Here are photos the of our time in HuaLien and from camping in HsinZhu.

__

In case you're wondering about the B&B trip with the family, it was actually supposed to be the camping trip, but due to rain the camping didn't actually happen. We didn't take too many pics that weekend for some reason. Perhaps because the events seemed engineered primarily to entertain the kids. We picked strawberries, for instance, and we went to a DIY place to paint wooden figurines. YT painted a wooden cat, which was fun. I supervised and offered constructive (I hope) direction. He is named Oliver.

_

The day after, we went to a very swanky coffeeshop in the area that had a great view of the surrounding hillside. They grow and roast their own coffee beans there, too. It was really a beautiful place, and I enjoyed sitting and reading my book while the others chatted and the kids played outside, or inside, or probably, both. I don't know, I was reading my book. We also went to a place where you can, potentially, make your own pottery stuff, but they weren't offering that option that day. It did have a really nice cafe and art museum, and the whole place had a great design. It seems like Taiwan has a lot of places like this if you know where to look. Very chique, very artsy, and very nice, and often not overly-traversed (though it depends on the season or day of the week).

_

So, there you have my excuse for not writing that much recently, but I hope the pictures make up for it.

_

Yours, BB&YT

Making news

You may not really believe this, but I made the news in Taiwan. Someone who has been helping me find people for interviews in Tainan (for my dissertation data) called a reporter-friend. The reporter interviewed YT & I for about an hour, though actually it seemed he did most of the talking. The article was in the paper, the 聯合報 (or United Daily News) the next day (Saturday 3/1). It turns out that it was originally intended to be in a local insert for the Tainan city area (longer, and with a photo), but then the editor cut it down to a few inches but pushed it up to island-wide distribution. It's not quite as accurate as I would wish it could be, on a number of levels, but what can you do. The reporter was very nice, and I enjoyed meeting him, and most of all, it's refreshing to feel that others may be interested in what I'm working on as well.

The link (in Chinese) is here, and my quick translation (as requested) is below. Before you ask, Taiwan-guoyu refers to a mixed variety of Mandarin heavily influenced by local dialects, and is traditionally associated with speakers with little education or low social status. Just to be clear, I'm still in the process of examining my data, and I never said that these attitudes have necessarily changed; however most of the people I've interviewed are not quick to admit (if they do at all) that they have low conceptions of speakers of this variety, as they may have in the past. There are other things worth clarifying, but I'll spare you the details. Anyway, if you're interested, here you go.

American [BB] has found that Chinese pronunciation is very interesting, lately he is in Tainan looking for people to interview, he is studying the Taiwan-area standard of Mandarin for his doctoral research; in the process he has found that Taiwan-guoyu is gradually rising, and is influencing standard Mandarin pronunciation.
34-year old [BB] was sent in 1997 by the church to Chongqing and Henan in mainland China for three years to teach English. He studied Mandarin just prior to this, but when he encountered the Sichuan accent he was totally lost, the standard "{bai2}" is pronounced in Sichuan as "{bai4}". [BB]'s doctoral research topic is "Research on the standardization of Mandarin in Taiwan". [BB] said that as local identity is rising, speaking Taiwan-guoyu is no longer shameful, and the Beijing accent of Mandarin is no longer strictly held as the standard.
What is Taiwan-guoyu like? [BB] has finished more than one hundred interviews, but everyone's answer is not completely identical, the most common example given is "wo3" is pronounced as "o3" -- and that is Taiwan-guoyu.

I guess that's it for now. The next quarter starts tomorrow, which means getting up early again for class. Time for bed. BB

Chinese New Year

So, after a week or so of seeing in the New Year of '08, this time based on the Chinese lunar calendar, I can say I'm all rested up and ready for, well, life outside of the house again. All I can say is that the days have been rather a blur. The weather continues to be as overcast, rainy, and humid as it has been for the past few weeks, so there hasn't been much else to do other than eat, sleep, and play Mahjong. I'm not kidding. When we weren't eating or playing Mahjong, we were either eating or playing Mahjong. As I understand it, those are basically the traditional activities of Chinese New Year, so I guess I got the appropriate dose of activities in my cultural immersion. We had a big dinner with the family (here), then another big dinner with Mom's side of the family (at an uncle's), then another big catered dinner with Dad's side of the family (here, in the garage). During the interim of shuttling back and forth and eating, we were here at home eating snacks or leftovers, or, you guessed it, sleeping. Ok, we also played Mahjong. I must say, though, it was a lot of fun.

I should also say that there was one other diversion filling our time that wasn't as traditional, and that would be the Wii and Super Mario Galaxy. It seems that those hours spent hanging out in Weldy's room next door in college honing my Nintendo skills on Super Mario World have finally payed off. I've apparently garnered a reputation as being skilled at the Wii, enough so that YT's cousin's son, who was here for a big dinner, wanted to watch me play Super Mario. Yeah. I successfully entertained the kids, sometimes by request, for hours.

-

I should also not forget to mention the most traditional of activities (I think) -- the giving of the red envelopes. On New Year's Eve, we all gathered together and gave red envelopes, which were prepared with some amount of money inside. The recipient of the red envelope has to offer in response a wish or good thought for the deliverer in the new year, such as (I'm summarizing here) may you be either happy, healthy, wealthy, or well-nourished in the next year. The kids definitely made out pretty well in the end, but it's mostly to be saved for the future. We gave red envelopes to the kids, and to mom and dad as well. We also received red envelopes from mom and dad, and Karrie (YT's oldest sister). It was a nice time, and even better (needless to say) with YT back. It was the first time she has been able to celebrate Chinese New Year with her family in seven years. I'm glad I could be a part of it, too.

-

One day, we took advantage of a slight break in the weather to get out of the house and went to soak in one of the many hot springs (basically, geo-thermally heated pools of groundwater) in the area. I've never done it before, but it's a pretty popular thing to do. It's supposed to have healing qualities, but that's about all I know. I can tell you that it involved everyone being in their birthday suits at this place, independent sections for each gender of course, which is just how it's often done here. I can also admit that I'm not that accustomed to public nudity, and though it wasn't really that big a deal, it did take some getting used to. The scratchy throat I'd felt in the morning did seem to go away afterwards, by the way, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, lunch afterwards was sponsored by the all-around winner of Mahjong during the previous days. The 'winnings' went towards the dinner out, so I guess we all sort of contributed to it, but some more than others (such as myself and YT, unfortunately).

-

So, that was basically it, my Chinese New Year of '08. It was a very nice time, though I literally lost track of which day it was, they were so much a blur. Now it's back to class and into the general swing of things again. I've been told that it all starts tomorrow, but I can still swear I have a couple of days yet. At least, I think. Definitely looking forward to the next time Spring Festival rolls around. Happy Chinese New Year to you all, and 祝你們恭喜發財.

-

Till next time, BB

Catching Up (again)

Well, it's now Spring Festival in Taiwan, so I have a few days off from class and a little extra time to catch up with the goings-on of the last few weeks (or couple of months?). That means, I'll be adding a few more entries over the next few days (or so) in no particular order, so keep your eyes open for new material. That is, at least, if you're among those who might be pre-disposed for that. I think you know who you are : )

BB

Morning out on the town

Well, another football season has come and went, and I mostly missed it. It's kind of sad, actually, as I enjoy watching football when I get the chance, especially if my favored Steelers are playing. Since ESPN/StarSports in Taiwan broadcast nary a game of the NFL, it's something I've been missing. I thought I might have my chance to catch some football action when the Superbowl rolled around, but even that wasn't carried by the local sports networks. Apparently, as I'd read on-line somewhere, too much money was spent on NY Yankees games to purchase the Superbowl broadcast rights. I guess it figures -- baseball is big in Taiwan to begin with, and as the Yankees have an 'ace' pitcher from Taiwan, Wang Chien Ming, nearly everyone here is a WangChienMing/Yankees fan. So, I thought my chances to see a football game this year were slim, but then I figured that there would have to be some place showing it in Taibei. After a quick look on-line, we made reservations at a place in the city offering a special breakfast buffet and a big-screen TV.

Yep, yep, Superbowl and breakfast. No chips and salsa or chicken wings and pretzels at our Superbowl experience this year, but rather ham, eggs, and bottomless cups of coffee. Thanks to the 13-hour time difference, we had to get up at 530am to make our 630am reservations to watch the game at 7am. I am quite glad that YT is also a football fan as well, thanks in no small part to her living in Pittsburgh Steelers country, and that she wanted to go as much as I did. She also wanted a chance to wear her #43 Polamalu jersey, which she bought after the Steelers won the big one in the 2005 season.

I must admit, though, that I really wasn't confident that it would be worth the while. I don't really care much about either team, and like most every Superbowl (ok, except the Steelers in 2005), I don't really care that much who wins, I just want to see a good game. I must admit, though, I was rather predisposed to be against the Patriots. For one thing, they're sort of AFC rivals with the Steelers, and so I just don't like them. Plus, this year the coaching staff of the Pats was caught cheating early in the season (video-taping the other team's signals -- Spygate), so another reason not to like them. Also, I'm not a big fan of football dynasties, and the Pats have won it three times since 2002, and back-to-back in '04&'05. I like to see things shaken up a bit from year to year, and another Pats win would be depressing. Plus, in case you didn't know, the Pats were going into the game undefeated, and were predicted to be the first NFL team to have a perfect 19-0 season since the 1972 Miami Dolphins. I had been a Dolphins fan (at least off and on) before I moved to Pittsburgh, so given my predispositions I wasn't too excited to see the Patriots break that record. The Giants were only the team standing in their way, and definitely had the underdog status. To be honest, I also didn't like Tom Brady's attitude in the pre-game interview, way too arrogant, so I had no problem going for the Giants. I really thought they had no chance, though, and I even told YT that I might switch to the Pats just so I wouldn't feel too disappointed at the end of the game.

But boy was I not disappointed -- it was easily the best Superbowl I have ever watched. Though the Giants clearly were more dominant, neither team could get a good hold on the game till the very end (see here if you want a good recap), and I haven't been that emotionally involved in a sporting event for quite a while. I'm sure the mix of the crowd and the volume of the speakers added to the experience, too. The room seemed pretty evenly split between Giants and Pats fans, so there were always people cheering regardless of who had the ball. All commercial breaks were filled with trivia questions for prizes, too, so there weren't really ever any lulls in the entertainment. We were also sitting across from a couple of guys who were fun to talk to. They were pilots for UPS, and also didn't really care who won, but were for the Giants. They also seemed to know their football trivia, and won two bottles of wine, 4 mixed drinks, and a couple of hats. I guessed correctly that Bernie Kozar held the record for the quarterback with the longest streak of incomplete passes. Ok, it was multiple choice, but still, I won something too. Yay.

_

YT and I were literally jumping up and down after the play where, on the last drive with about 2 minutes to go, Eli Manning broke the tackle and threw the pass to David Tyree for the first down. We were again literally jumping up and down after the touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress (a former Steeler) that won the the game for the Giants in the very last minute. Amazing. YT was even taking pictures of the TV screen. We were still excited even after we left, and had the whole rest of the day to think about it. It was such a great game. For the only game of the year to be able to watch, I'm glad that one was it. It was quite a memorable experience, and made up for all the other football I missed this year. Definitely worth getting up for.

So, that, and some shopping afterwards, was basically our morning out on the town. What a great time to have a bit of time off, too -- no classes this week due to Spring Festival, or Chinese New Year (according to the traditional lunar calendar). Yay! But, more on that later, perhaps, I have some sleep to catch up on.

_

Wishing you all sweet dreams, and a happy lunar new year, BB

My Christmas Gifts

Well, it's Christmas in Taiwan. Merry Christmas to you all. I'm at school waiting for class to start. Were it not for the months-long reminders from the Christmas tree in the lobby and the carols playing at the coffee stand out front, all ostensibly building up to today, it would be a day just like any other. I've been abroad over Christmas before, but this time it just feels different. Yesterday I heard a student wishing her (much older) teacher a merry Christmas, and the response was "Well, everyday should be happy, not just Christmas." She's right, of course, but I couldn't help being taken aback a bit by what seemed like a 'scrooge-like' response. She basically repudiated all those making a deal out of the holiday, most of whom just think it's fun and want to have a good time. I guess maybe she's just not sure what to make of all the Christmas hubbub. I must admit that I've had sort of the same attitude here this year.

As I'd written earlier, the Christmas trees and songs in the stores have been up and on since at least Thanksgiving, and my nephews have been singing Christmas carols in English that they learned in school, and seem to know nearly as many as I did at that age. Almost. I know it's "my culture" and it might make it seem more "like home", and I should feel honored, perhaps. But as a participant here, and putting aside all the obvious issues of cultural imperialism, it just seems to be a hollow shell of what Christmas is supposed to be about. Personally, I could do without the imported 'festivity', the empty jingles and glitz, the 'civil religious' practices that commercialism feeds upon. It feels like the shallow skin was skimmed off the warm milk of Christmas and that's all I'm left with; all of the symbols, none of the meaning. I guess it just leaves me feeling a bit empty inside. Even the Christmas service I attended at church on Saturday, which was geared entirely toward children, left me wanting for a bit more. I never minded this so much in my other times abroad, but I guess it now just makes me feel farther from home.

I think, in response, the last few weeks I've been trying to combat the reminders, hoping Christmas really would be a day just like any other. I didn't really even participate in giving gifts this year. But, like Scrooge, it didn't seem to work that way for me. Ok, no visits from ghosts of any kind, but let me just say I encountered some very fine gifts that made it a memorable season.

I've really enjoyed the care package that Mom sent. It was nice to receive the Christmas cookies and 'stocking gifts' and calendar (homemade this year!), so at least I was able to enjoy some things of the season. The last few days, though, YT had been singing Christmas carols to me by webcam. I could really only listen, because the time delay didn't really allow singing in unison. I don't know why, but that gesture filled me with a different sense of nostalgia each time, various visions of Christmas past. Most of the time it made me feel like a kid back at Grandma's house. More effective than Bing Crosby, it was truly the gift of the Christmas spirit.

The other came yesterday on Christmas Eve, and it was one of those that you never see coming. I met with my 'culture' class teacher, where we often discuss things about history and politics. She just asked how I celebrated Christmas this year, and I explained that I went to the Christmas service at church, but since it was mostly geared toward children it wasn't quite the same (of course) in my own experiences. She acknowledged that the expression of Christmas here must seem 'shallow', and that I must miss being around others with the same beliefs and traditions. I can't remember exactly how she said it, but it rather hit the nail on the head. I felt like she was the first person here that really understood, and that felt very good. That was a nice gift in itself.

But then she asked me to explain a bit more, and I talked about Christmas Eve services at home and the music and singing. Then she also asked what the word 'Christ' meant, and I basically expounded on the concepts of the Messiah, the context of Rome and the Jewish power structures at the time, and God in Jesus as the 'servant-leader'; essentially, the foundations of my faith. Ok, it was mostly me talking, with my teacher correcting grammar usage and vocabulary as needed. However, she has had some of these questions for many years, and genuinely wanted to know. I don't know what she thought at the end, but the discussion helped me turn myself around and realize again that Christmas isn't really about gifts and decorated trees, of course, and it isn't only about spending time with family and friends and like-minded people. It was a needed reminder that Christmas is about Jesus, pure and simple. That is the best gift of them all -- the 'true' meaning of Christmas.

I will leave you with that, and with wishes for a truly Merry Christmas. BB

No white Christmas for me

So, some of you might know that Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I think it mainly has something to do with celebrating the holidays together with my aunts & uncles and cousins at Grandma and Grandpa's (both my mom & dad's sides). I've always enjoyed the annual ritual of piling into the car early in the morning and driving, not just over the river and through the woods, but basically all across Ohio and western and central Pennsylvania. It was a long trip. My brother and I spent many a good hour making up games, reading good books, getting dad to tell us stories, fighting as kids do, watching the traffic and scenery go by, and enjoying captive but quality family time.

Getting there was only part of the fun, of course. I've always enjoyed being with relatives and hanging out with cousins, and I value the sense of shared history and traditions that have accrued over the years. Things are, of course, different now that the family has multiplied, and not only cousins, but cousins-in-law and first-cousins-once-removed have added to our ranks. We've been nearly running out of space at Grandma's for quite a while, and this year my aunt's mother is farming out their space to us. Grandma's still cooking, though : ). So, the traditions carry on, but evolve over time. I guess that's how things go.

The 25th would be just another day here in Taiwan, but the Christmas trees have been up since at least Thanksgiving, and the Christmas carols have been playing on the radio for many weeks. My nephew and niece have been singing the carols they know and asking me how you say 聖誕老人 (shengdan lao ren; lit. 'Christmas Old Man') in English (Santa Clause, of course). Mom and Dad put up their Christmas tree, too (above), like they do every year. It would almost be just like home ('secularly' or 'commercially', at least), except the temperatures are still in the 'balmy' mid-to upper-60s. There's no heating in the home, though, and Mom & Dad often keep some of the windows open for fresh air (I guess). No White Christmas, but it will still feel a bit chilly : )

So, like other times I've been abroad and missed the holidays, I'll be listening to Handel and Bing Crosby, wishing for Christmas turkey and Grandma's cookies and jello salads, and thinking of everyone. There was one year in China I actually sang "I Wish Me a Merry Christmas", but at least this year I'll have family around to sing it properly.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all, BB

Finding my Inner Fish

Ok, I have to admit, it has been apparent to me for a while that I don't quite get enough exercise. Back in the States I liked to go biking or walking in the park on occasion, and that kept me in generally decent shape. I really like hiking, too, and though there's lots of places to hike in Taiwan (very mountainous), a lot of the trails are paved and have stairs. That's just not the kind of hiking I like to do. So, between that and having no bike of my own, I'd sort of trailed off in terms of the exercise I was getting.

Then I started to notice that, for some reason, I felt like I was gaining weight. Maybe I've been eating more than usual, too. It's seems like there's always eating to be done, and YT's mom always cooks a lot. Very healthy, mind you, but still a lot, plus it's good. There's also the style of eating, in terms of the "just keep taking from the common dish in front of you until you're full" style, rather than the "here's your portion, when you finish that you can maybe have more" style of eating. There is research which shows that portions do make a difference in how much you eat, at least with bowls of soup -- if they're surreptitiously being filled by a hose at the bottom then people eat a lot more (really, it won an 'Ig Noble Prize' in 2007).

I'm also approaching another half-decade marker, and not for the first time in my life, I got that sinking suspicion that I'm not as young as I used to be. I had one of those experiences where it didn't really look like me in the mirror, rather someone who looked like me except a little plumper around the tummy and older. Honestly, I could have sworn I was 25 just yesterday. As John Updike wrote in Rabbit Run, "All men are boys time has deceived". Darn you, time!

So, either to recapture my youth or peel back the kilograms I've recently accrued, I've started a self-regulated twice-a-week swimming regimen. "Swimming?" you are probably thinking to yourself, "Brian you're not a swimmer!" And you'd be right, especially if you see what swimming seems to mean in Taiwan. It does not mean simply lounging around in the water, or seeing how long you can tread in one place, or how long you can hold your breath, or jumping off the diving board trying to catch a tennis ball in mid-air, or playing water basketball with your friends. Nope, it means propelling yourself through various paddling and kicking methods from one end of a pool of water to the other in a straight line back and forth until you don't feel like doing it anymore. You even have to wear a swimming cap and a speedo-style suit, though it doesn't have to be tighty-whities length. There are also a lot of people in the pool, and you have to try to time your journey to the other side so you don't bump into someone in your lane. It also seems apparent to me that everyone else has been trained in how to actually swim, different from my own pre-school lessons in 'how not to die if you happen to fall in the water'. Here, it's almost like you're watching the Olympics, except you're the one that's swimming, and, you're not in the Olympics, and, you're not even competing, you're just there going back and forth. But otherwise, almost the same, I think. So, though I have long-ago graduated from the doggie-paddle to a freestyle manner copied intuitively from watching TV, I still feel comparatively like, if you'll allow, a fish out of water.

My general method has been to whirl my arms and kick, turning my head from side-to-side but keeping my mouth above the water so I can spit and gasp for air as needed. If I don't do my impersonation of the freestyle, I do a sort of modified backstroke. I just kind of float on my back and wave my arms from my elbows so I move around. I guess if one were to see it in action, one might describe it as a sort of doggie-paddle backstroke with your arms at your side. Maybe. Come to think of it, it might also resemble the propulsion method of a single-celled organism. Either way, you may perhaps be able to see why I'd feel sort of conspicuous, especially if you knew that no one else seemed to be doing anything upside down. Given the population density of the pool and the restricted field of view of being on your back, I guess that makes sense. I still sort of prefer this, though; the distinct advantage being that my ears are submerged so my mouth doesn't have to be. It's actually rather relaxing, too, if you can get past the paranoia of running into something or someone.

Then one day, I decided I'd had enough of the modified doggie-paddle backstroke. It was relaxing, but I was just going too slow. I figured if I'm going to go back and forth in a straight line, there's no point in drawing it out. In a fit of inspiration, I decided to try whirling my arms like the backstroke is maybe supposed to be done. To my surprise, it almost felt as if I'd just sprouted fins. The roof above me sped by, and before I knew it I had passed under the flags, then the metal ladder out of the pool went by, then came the wall (bonk). I felt even more conspicuous than before, but I didn't care. It felt good. I even got a brief impression of admiring looks from the lifeguards and other swimmers, like "What is that method of swimming? Is that a backstroke? Wow! Who does the backstroke in a pool with this many people?"

You may think this was pure delusion, perhaps brought on by lack of oxygen to the brain (I do have exercise-induced asthma at times), but consider the following. After my usual soak in the steam-room, I went back into the smaller practice pool for a last couple of laps. There was also an older man there in the pool with a woman, who, incidentally, seemed to be less than his age. I did my interpretation of the freestyle one way, as I normally would, and then my backstroke impersonation on the way back. As I was bumping into the wall, he said "Very good!", in English, as people sometimes do when they want to sound cosmopolitan but don't have an extensive English vocabulary. I could only assume he meant my backstroke, of course, because it was so impressive. He also complimented me on my freestyle, though too, which, he said, was special because I could keep my head up for air. I knew that just creates more drag, but I didn't feel like arguing. He then jovially challenged me to a friendly race to the other side, which of course he won, to his delight. Once his 'friend' joined us again, he asked me how often I go swimming, then he said I should go at least 3 times a week like he does. Ok, I said, trying not to roll my eyes. Not surprisingly, I haven't really seen the guy or his lady-friend since. However, I have noticed more people trying to do the backstroke.

I of course don't take any credit for that, but it makes me feel good as I backpedal through the water, digging deep with my hands on the push-stroke, feeling the current rush through my fingers. The roof zips by overhead, and six strokes after I pass under the flags my hand brushes the wall. I'm still awkward at it, and no professional of course, but at the end of the day, I'm back to thinking I'm 25 years old. I'm still basically the same shape as when I measured my weight in pounds, but the best part is, I know my lady-friend doesn't really mind either way.

Still making waves, BB

Camping with the Sheu Family

Yes, that's right. I went camping with YT's family in the middle of November. I had heard that camping in Taiwan generally meant cramped spaces, noisy neighbors, and loud karaoke; namely, the kind of camping I would want to avoid like the plague. So, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I must say, though, it was rather nice. No karaoke (thankfully), only one set of neighbors we hardly noticed, and a beautiful location on the side of a mountain overlooking a long narrow valley. Ok, actually it would have been very beautiful had there not been a cloud filling the valley and obstructing our view. That only became clear early in the morning the next day when I got up to go to the bathroom. There were no clouds in the sky, and I could tell that the valley was very expansive. The sun wasn't up yet, though, and all I could really see was just the back-lit silhouette of the mountain on the other side of the valley. To be honest, I couldn't really see anything; but I could feel, I could sense, that in optimum conditions it would be quite beautiful. At least, I'm pretty sure. I went back to bed, then when I got up the cloud was back again.

All in all, I'd have to say that camping in Taiwan is quite similar to camping in the states. I'm talking the typical 'refugee' camping, as a good friend puts it. That is, take your family and pack up your provisions and shelter, set up your new living quarters on a small spat of land, then live without all the usual amenities or comforts of home and try to make the best of it. We even had nearly the whole family there, at least it felt like it to me. There were more than 20 of us, including kids. That's right, more than 20. I guess, come to think of it, there were 'noisy neighbors', but they were us. So, ok, I guess a big difference is that I wouldn't normally go camping with that many people.

The only other main difference I noticed in camping practices was the campfire. First, there almost wasn't one. That, to me, is almost unfathomable. The fire wasn't started until many hours after we got there, whereas were it up to me it would be ablaze the second after the tents are posted. My favorite part of camping is the campfire. The ability to harness such a dazzling and fierce power of nature within a ring of stones is amazing, and I'll watch it like TV until late at night. That it provides a method of cooking is just secondary, the hotdogs and S'mores are simply a nice bonus. Second, there were no S'mores or roasted hotdogs. But, I'm not really considering 'food' within the camping practices, otherwise the list would go on and on, so I'm not sure whether it should count. Third, or second, is that we burnt grass, not tree. That is, dried bamboo, not wood. It was cut in half lengthwise, because if left whole it can be sort of dangerous. The sections encase large pockets of air, and if put directly into the fire they will build up enough pressure to pop. I've seen it done. Anyway, as you might expect, it burnt quickly, and it sometimes lost it's 'flame'. But, since I love managing the campfire as much (or more?) as I love watching it, I didn't mind so much.

Oh yeah, there was also actual dancing around the fire. That's right. Some of the kids led some people in an aboriginal folk dance they had learned in school, which is definitely not something I would experience on a typical camping excursion in the US. Oh, also, there was also a 'game' played with the bamboo sheaths before they were burnt. It took 4 sticks, two set lengthwise a distance apart like wide train tracks, then the other two were set perpendicular on top, so it made sort of a figure just like this: # (or see photo). Two people held the top set of sticks and beat them in a certain rhythm, moving them outwards on a certain beat. Then others stood in the middle and did a dance and sang a song stepping in and out of the moving sticks, trying not to get their ankles clipped. Okay, one more thing: some among the 20 of us slept in their SUVs. I'm sure it's done in the US, but I've never witnessed it myself. As for the rest of the time, the pictures, posted here, tell the whole story pretty well.

The most memorable event of the weekend was hiking up the mountain with mom & dad. Some of the kids started to go, too, but it was too long and steep for them, so they didn't really even make it far out of the camp. I've always had immense respect for YT's parents, but I must say I was really impressed with how they tackled this mountain. It was pretty steep at times, enough that 'steps' were cut into the earth and ropes were strung up to provide something to hang on to, but they handled it as if they were 30 years younger. They do go hiking nearly every weekend, but not quite like this. I really like this picture of YT's mom:
I think it says a lot, but I'm not going to attempt a wordy and pretentious deconstruction of it for you. However, I do want to point out that mom & dad witnessed immense economic and political change during their lives. They saw farmland turn to shopping mall and parking garage, and martial law turn to vibrant but contentious democracy, and they rose along with it. It's not called the "Taiwan miracle" for nothing. Mom & Dad's parents were either farmers or manual laborers. Mom went to a technical college (專科) and became an elementary teacher. Dad also had post-secondary schooling, and went from a local government job to a city government job, to his current position second from the top in a private company (well, it's a very small company, but still). Their current house was built just a few years ago on the 'ancestral' farmland where Dad grew up, which he still tills now during his free time. They both continue to work extremely hard, and this picture, to me, somewhat reflects the spirit and drive of their generation that made the 'miracle' possible. Either that, or a cigar's a cigar and it's just a photo of someone climbing a mountain trail. Up to you, I guess.

So, I'll leave you with that. Oh yeah, I did have 'turkey-wings' when we were camping, which was the closest I came to having turkey around Thanksgiving. They were imported from the US, and sold here really cheap because we don't eat turkey wings in the US, unless they're bought as part of the whole bird and roasted in the oven with everything else. Even then, we probably don't eat them, I'd wager. It wasn't quite the same as 'real' Thanksgiving turkey, of course, and to be honest, I wouldn't even say it was 'better than nothing'. I actually almost forgot about the holiday until I realized YT wasn't available to chat because she was travelling at that time to spend the holiday with my family. Then, I was almost late to class because I was chatting with the cousins after their big meal at my parents', or rather 'viewing' them and texting since the audio didn't work on their end. But, it was good to see them all, and lots of fun as usual. I guess the internet is a big something to be thankful for.

Ok, I do need to go. I'm also thankful for your time. Take care and God bless, BB

Funeral -- La Fin

Hey everyone, before you say anything, I just want you to know that, yes, I realize that a long time has passed since I've written anything. YT and I are settling in to our respective situations, and life is moving on for each of us; separately, yet together, somehow. We do what we have to do, and the nightly (for me) chats do help a lot. I do miss seeing more than a 4-inch 2-dimensional representation of my wife, but I know the time will pass. Stupid green card, or rather, conditional green card status.

So, you may be wondering what has been going on since YT left, besides a longing for her quick return. I would be lying if I said 'nothing', though, so I'll try to catch up a bit. I guess one of the most memorable things has been the conclusion of YT's grandfather's funeral. The final burial was a couple of weeks ago (middle of October). Since I last wrote about it, there were special occasions for different members to perform different rituals according to their relationship. I didn't have to attend any of those, but I was told to keep the whole day free for the final service, the events of which I am about to describe. A quick aside: please excuse my general ignorance of the meaning of what I observed. YT said that even her family often doesn't know what some of the rituals mean or represent, so I don't feel too bad. Still quite curious, but I don't have time for a degree in Chinese or Taiwanese religious studies it might require.

The final service started rather early in the morning, for me it mostly involved a lot of standing in confused ignorance of what was going on, sometimes with a mix of needing to bow at an appropriate time. A monk was at the front with a mic ceremoniously directing everything. I was standing with all the male relatives along one side of the aisle, with all the women on the other side of the aisle. We all had to wear special clothing that signified our relation to grandfather, too. The whole affair was designed to pay great honor to YT's grandfather's spirit and ensure a comfortable afterlife, but it also seemed mainly, as characterized in the past by YT, to seek grandfather's good will so that he might bestow great blessings from the afterlife. Here's the general scene before things got started.


What I observed was basically a ritualistic 'This-is-your-life' kind of thing that involved a procession of family and friend groups, organized by relation to the deceased. Instead of a prolonged recounting of character-revealing stories or events of the past, it involved a systematic progression where each individual group took turns prostrating on their knees, standing up and inching forward in unison, then doing it again and again (3 times total). Then, the first person in the group poured three small shots of alcohol into a basin, though I don't know why. I couldn't follow all of the groups that took a turn, but the order went something like this: remaining brothers and sisters, then remaining cousins, then sons, then daughters, then spouses of sons and daughters, then grandchildren, then spouses of grandchildren, then great-grandchildren, then (and I'm almost serious) anyone left over who apparently felt they had a legitimate claim to relation with the deceased. At least, it got to the point where even my father-in-law did not know who the people were, but he guessed 2nd or 3rd or more distant cousins. By the amazing powers of the internet and digital technology, you can get a brief 18sec sense of the sights and sounds here, more than that which static images have to offer.

I can't recall how long that process took, mainly because the basic process wasn't over yet. The tables and flowers in the middle of the aisle were removed to make room for another set of people to progress in waves. Basically, representatives of different groups that grandfather had been involved with in the past came to pay public respect. There was no prostrating this time, though. One person in the group held up in 'offering' a plate with a piece of fruit on it, then the same with a flower-wreath. Then they all bowed at the waist to the men's side, then to the women's side, which is where the bowing aspect came in. Each step was systematically orchestrated and announced by the monk on the mic. Then it was the next group's turn to shuffle down the aisle, and the process was repeated. I think YT's grandfather must have been involved with a number of different organizations throughout his life, because it seemed like a lot, and they all showed up. This includes, for instance, people from the primary school where he attended, ninety years ago. In some cases, someone read a brief statement, and in other cases the apple was not 'offered up', or a glass of white alcohol was offered as well. I might have been able to figure out why had I not been completely bored out of my skull. Luckily, by the time I was just about to invent creative ways to bow ceremoniously without appearing disrespectful, I saw that they were almost done. Well, with that part, at least.

The next section involved more movement, which was very nice since my muscles were stiff from standing for nearly three hours. The coffin was loaded onto a truck and we walked through the road following the truck through town. I should mention the two other accompanying trucks that were filled with musicians blowing horns and banging gongs (pic). The louder the better, because it drives away harmful spirits.
.

While the truck with the coffin continued up into the mountain to the burial plot, the rest of us got on a bus. I had a nice talk with Caro on the way, the younger of YT's older sisters. She said that she wished there were more things done to remember who her grandfather was, and she said didn't like all the time these funerals consume. I talked about how funerals in the Christian tradition are more a memorial to the deceased, a remembrance of the past, and a celebration of that person's life (and 'reunion' with God). I said I was honored to be able to take part in these ceremonies, but I also missed learning more about grandfather's life, and what kind of person he was and the personal influence he has had on those around him. I know he was a stonecutter, but the rest of the stuff I can only guess at. I also said the funerals there only last a couple of days, including the wake. Caro said she'd prefer that sort of system, too.

But, to continue on, there were more ceremonies at the burial site after we got there. Rather than a six-foot hole in the ground, it resembled a small notch cut out of the mountain. We stood there while the coffin was arranged in it's proper 'feng shui' alignment and then finally covered up. Then, someone prepared the headstone while more paper money was burnt and food was offered up. After this, everyone proceeded to march around the grave three times, though I only wish I could say why. Then grandchildren received a few coins and a number of nails, which I was told represents a wish for a successful future and birth of sons to continue the family name. Finally, someone chanted and banged cymbals loudly for a few minutes, to 'purify' the area of negative spirits, and then we all headed back for a late banquet lunch.

Afterwards I went home for a good rest and a long nap. It still wasn't over yet, though. I was awakened around 5pm with news that later that evening the 'house' was going to be burnt. That is, the ceremonial house that was bought for grandfather, which represents the wish for him to have a palatial dwelling-place in the afterlife. There was even a cardboard helicopter and a Mercedes (pic) in the 'courtyard' of the house so that he could travel around freely. After another huge pile of paper money was burnt, as well as other rituals described in a previous post, the house was loaded in pieces onto a truck and carted out to an empty field between two busy roads. The ceremonial clothing was removed and set aside to burn, along with everything else associated with the funeral that could be consumed by flames. More paper money was loaded into the house, then it was lit. As YT's uncle said, it cost hundreds of US dollars, and in three minutes it was gone. Nothing too exciting, but I have a short video of it below.

So, I guess that's all I have to say right now. It was a long and busy day, and it's obvious that people care very much for their family. I do feel priviledged to have participated in the service, and honored to be a part of the whole family. I'll leave it at that, though, since it has probably been a long post already. I'll try not to go so long before the next post is up. Okay, gotta go.

Talk to you all later. BB

A week goes by

So, it's been a week since YT went back to the States. I may not have mentioned last time that it was very difficult for her to go back on her own, and arriving at home (after a day or so with my parents) was probably the toughest part. Right after she'd left Taiwan, I found that the worst part was seeing the small things that reminded me of her -- the shirt she'd left on the floor, photos from our first anniversary trip, the jar of Nutella that she'd bought for me, and so on. We'd only been here for a few weeks, so I thought it would be even more difficult for her when she gets back to our apartment -- more memories, and more things to trigger them. As she writes on her blog, that was basically the case. Even the jug of milk was difficult to look at because I'm the one who always eats cereal and uses up the milk. At least she had Oliver to greet her, though, and he didn't hide out of anger or fear as he sometimes does when we've been gone for a little while. (My brother must have done a good job of taking care of him the last few weeks, thanks Chad!).

It took a few days to adjust for the both of us, but I think things are much better now. We've worked out a good webcam-chat schedule, and it does help alot to be able to see and hear the other person. Also, YT had been the only one in the apartment for the first few days, but now that's changed. Her roommate was in Taiwan the last three weeks, and just returned the other night. She is a remarkably good person, very thoughtful and kind, and also did a great job of caring for Oliver while we were gone even though she'd never really been around cats before. So, I know YT is in good company.

There's one other factor that's been helping YT out. She has several friends right now who are separated from their husbands or boyfriends, each for different reasons, so she has a lot of people to commiserate with. In some cases, the situation is worse than YT's, which seriously puts things in the right perspective for her.

So, things are going alright now, and we really don't have that much to complain about, other than web cameras that don't always function well, and the fact that we have to use them.

I hope all is well with you and yours. Till next time, BB

Parting -- NOT so sweet.

I just recently saw my wife get on a plane bound for home, and I won't see her for at least a couple of months. For some reason, right now that pithy saying in Romeo&Juliet (of all things) is one of the first things that comes to mind, and it really bugs me. I'll grant it to Juliet that she was young and naive, and 'parting' for just one night, so what does she know about sorrow (at least, up until the last act). Right now, I don't feel anything that could quite be considered sweet. Even though we knew this was coming, and was a recognized possibility even when we were dating, it doesn't make it any better.

In case you're wondering why YT doesn't just stay here with me and the rest of her family, well, it has to do with her green card. We applied early this year, and were really hoping to receive it before we left to come to Taiwan. It still hadn't arrived by the day we had to leave, so we'd made arrangments with a friend to send it to TW through the mail when it came, which would have been a big worry and an extra headache. But, fortunately, as it turns out, we realized half an hour outside of Pittsburgh that we'd forgotten the plane tickets, so we went back to get them. Guess what the mailman had delivered just after we had left that morning? Yep, the green card. So we didn't have to have it sent to us. I like that story, but it's not my point.

The point is that it's a conditional green card, which means we have to be married for at least two years before we can apply to have the conditional status removed, at which point it would be unconditional and/or permanent (yay). If we don't succeed in having it removed, it's very bad news. We'd have to go through the whole application process from the beginning, which is now even more expensive and a bigger pain in the tuckus than it was before. Officially, it's okay for her to be abroad through the duration allowed by her travel documents, which is about a year. However, we were counselled that if she is gone too long, regardless of having the proper legal documentation, the government could think she might abandon her residency and isn't serious about living in the US. They could make that claim at least, and that would likely mean the conditional status would not be removed. We were told that she could still go abroad, but the total amount shouldn't exceed a certain number of months. So, she'll spend part of her time here in Taiwan, and part of her time back in the US finishing up her dissertation. That's the plan, at least.

So now it's just me and the in-laws, which is going great except for the part where my wife is no longer here too. It's like (perhaps) when you were a kid and your best friend, your favorite person in the world, had to go away to camp for the summer. Things just aren't as fun anymore. I now just have a few articles of left-behind clothing and ticket stubs and pictures, and needless to say, it's not quite enough. We will, of course, also have the telephone and internet chats and webcams, and almost all that the magic of the digital era can provide, but you can't put your arms around a digital picture, even if it's uploading at 30 frames per second. It is much better than nothing, granted; however I do hate the feeling that, as it may come to seem, my wife flew to Pittsburgh and somehow ended up getting stuck inside my computer. Strangely enough, she only comes out at certain times of day, and somehow, Oliver is there, too. I guess it's a good thing I never saw the movie Tron.
This is now my wife, sort of:


We do know that my work here will also allow me to (among other things) understand her cultural background and language much better and be a stronger part of her family. So we both think it will have many positive effects in the long run. But for now, though, I have to say, sorry to disagree with you Juliet, but parting is just sorrow. You'll learn that too soon enough, though. If you want some advice, don't pay too much attention to the Friar at the end of Scene 1 in Act IV, but, I'm no literary theorist.

Okay, I've got to go. Till next time, BB

PS: For what it's worth, I should say it does feel really good to be able to communicate using the webcam. It's not as good as face-to-face, of course, but it does help a lot.

It's a Small (Mennonite) World

There is, actually, a couple more thoughts about the funeral I have been experiencing (it will last several weeks). Since I had lived in China for several years previously, it is very interesting to see these kinds of services being performed at all. It is not controversial (in my opinion) to state that traditional Chinese religious practices are much better preserved here, as Taiwan did not witness the Cultural Revolution that took place on the mainland.

In my understanding, Taiwan has also been more open to practices of other faiths, including evangelism from foreign missionaries. Though this had been active in China as well, with different levels of acceptance and rejection through the ages, the church is now supposed to be more indigenous, or at least more independent from foreign influences. There is really only one Chinese protestant church in China, which I attended while I was there. So, it is different to be here and witness the presence of different denominations. The Presbyterian Church in Taiwan is by far the most prevalent.

Yesterday, YT and I went to a Mennonite church in Taiwan that is in a nearby neighborhood. The church was started in 1975 by a couple from Lancaster (?? Sprunger), and we found the church through the internet. There were about 30 people there or so this Sunday. The hymns were in Taiwanese, though the sermon was in Mandarin and translated into Taiwanese. For the hymns, I had the choice of either trying to follow the same words as everyone else through the Taiwanese hymnal, or knowing more of the meaning through the Mandarin hymnal, or choose one and just sing 'oo' to the right notes. Most of the time I chose the latter. I'm not used to translations being given, so I found it hard to stop paying attention when it is said in Taiwanese. That means I was still trying to follow what was being said in a language I can't understand, no matter how hard I concentrate, and it got very tiring. YT was suggesting during the service that I try to go to an English-Chinese church in the city, and I was thinking that would be a good idea.

We were, naturally, introduced during the guest-introduction time, and there was a sound of general approval when I said I am a Mennonite. After the service, everyone was very welcoming, and we were invited several times to stay afterwards to have lunch with them, sort of a weekly potluck. We at first declined, since I wasn't sure whether I'd keep coming in the future, and we said we had things to do. We kept talking with people, though, and several did speak English pretty well. It also turns out that the pastor's son had studied at Carnegie Mellon, so he was familiar with Pittsburgh. A lot of others had at least one child studying in the US. Someone soon announced that lunch was ready, and we had no option but to stay : ) Everyone was very welcoming, and it really did have a similar feeling to the small Mennonite churches I've attended or been part of in the US. So, I'll likely go back, whether I can understand well enough or not.

Anyway, tomorrow is Mid-Autumn Festival, so no classes today or tomorrow. There is already a small gathering of family out on the porch getting ready to barbeque, and I fear being anti-social if I keep writing right now.

So, till later, and happy harvest time! BB

The Funeral (or, Plans Interrupted, part II)

Okay, part II. We left Tainan and got back to Taibei around 630 or so, then went to visit with the rest of the family and pay our respects. There were already a lot of the family there, sitting around talking, eating, drinking tea, and folding paper money to burn. I have to say, it was (obviously) very different from funerals I'd attended in the US. It did feel as if there was a greater deal of fear of death involved in the process. Dad gave YT and I a leaf to hold that was supposed to help ward off, well, anything 'otherworldly' that might affect us negatively. We were supposed to wash our face from a bucket with some herbs in it before we went home for the evening, again, to ward off potentially bad things that might linger around us otherwise.

As I'm a Christian and most of YT's family follow Buddhist traditions, I also couldn't help but reflect on the differences in cultural practices. The preparations being made were to help YT's grandfather's soul make it safely into the afterworld, and to have a prosperous eternity after that. There were also a lot of prayers to beseech him to bless the rest of the family while he's there. Fundamentally, that seems to be (and as YT has said) a lot of what it's about. With these emphases, I feel I haven't had a chance to learn about YT's grandfather's life and who he was while he was here. I haven't seen much to recall the past, relive memories, and honor and cherish a father, grandfather, or friend, or to glorify the legacy of one who has been in this world for 98 years. I miss that aspect of funerals in my own tradition, and I know that YT does as well.

This is not to say that the family is not doing something special to commemorate YT's gradfather and his long life. Since he lived to the age of 98, the family wanted to hold a very traditional service, which is not as commonly performed as before. I can't quite figure out what is or is not often done now, but in this case, the period of mourning will last for about 1-2 months for a traditional funeral. The funeral will be conducted in cycles, the beginning of which I had the opportunity to observe. I was even invited (ok, ok, given advanced permission) to take pictures, some of which are posted here. The first of the cycles will take place this Saturday (the 22nd).

The point of the service was essentially to help YT's grandfather cross into the afterworld safely and not feel a desire to come back. The services have been held in the family's garage, since (as mentioned) he passed away at home (actually, the eldest son's home where he'd been in hospice care). There was the general chanting of scriptures and bowing, along with the banging of cymbals and drums and playing of reed instruments you'd associate with Chinese opera. In one part, one of the service-leaders hired for the occasion went person-to-person with a string tied loosely around his finger. Each person was to tug on the string to untie it, which symbolized a final release of unfulfilled desires. At another point, the monks ran around and around the altar in the middle of the room, with one of them carrying a scripture, one a paper horse, and one a paper figure. This was to represent a horse riding ahead to inform the necessary 'authorities' in the afterworld that YT's grandfather was coming. It did really look the the guys were having fun : )

One other aspect involved one of the monks taking a basic roll call, reading the names of the family, each of whom would say 'here' (if someone wasn't there, someone else would attest their presence on their behalf). There was also a ritual involving the family walking around the altar in a large circle. A basin of water had been placed underneath it, and the family stepped one-by-one onto a small platform nearby that represented a bridge. This was, of course, to help YT's grandfather make the trip successfully. The evening ended with the whole family sitting outside with two metal basins piled high with paper money, which was burnt to ensure that YT's grandfather would not want of anything.

I am glad to learn more about YT's culture and background, and to be part of the family in this fashion. I have really appreciated the way the family gets together to help each other out at this time. However, I couldn't help but think that, well, I'm glad to have a belief where my eternal rest does not depend on what my family does on my behalf after I'm gone. I appreciate the thought that some representation of Jesus (or Peter) will be there to help and comfort me. In a more cynical sense, I'd also prefer to keep representations of money and riches out of my conceptions of what comes next. Sometimes people here are known to burn effigies of BMWs or large houses in hopes that their loved-ones will have a better after-life. I'd rather think that heaven is devoid of brand-consciousness and affluence, and that there are no streets paved with gold. If Heaven means coming more fully into the presence of God, well, what could possibly compare with that?

A lot more could be said about comparative practices of faith systems in Taiwan and the US, and of YT and myself, but I think I will just leave it at that. It's probably long enough already, and well, I'm no expert. I will say, though, that I highly appreciate the view of God and heaven that C.S. Lewis implies in Till We Have Faces. It is part of why I am a deeply committed Christian but more agnostic toward other faiths. I can't know the answer, and in some ways, it's not really the right question to be asking. He writes, “I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words.”

Peacefully, and respectfully, yours in Christ, BB

Plans Interrupted (part I)

Well, as I'd mentioned, last weekend was rather interesting. YT and I left last Friday for Tainan in the south to visit some friends and look aroud. We took the train, and it took us about four hours to get there. Our friend picked us up, then we went to the 17th century Confucian Temple, then another friend (and one of her friends) came to meet us for dinner. Tainan is famous for it's xiao chi [小吃] which is in essence similar (in size/function but not in taste) to Spanish tapas, and that's pretty much what we had to eat. Then we went to a night market to walk around (though it was packed), then drove out to the seashore to sit for a while. The next day we saw a lot of other things, including what had been Fort Zeelandia and Fort Provincia when Taiwan was a Dutch colony in the early and mid-17th century, and ate more xiao chi. This pic was taken at a place that makes tea out of dong gua [冬瓜], or winter melon. Not sure about the details : ) There are more pictures on my smugmug site here.

We had also received a phone call from Mom Friday evening that YT's mother's (biological) father was in deteriorating condition and was being taken to the hospital. He was 98, and had been ill for a very long time and was on a feeding tube, so this did not come as a great shock. Saturday morning we got another call that he was coming home from the hospital. This was actually foreboding news, because people here prefer their loved ones to pass away at home with family when possible. He did, in fact, pass away later that morning.

Although we had planned to go back to Taibei on Sunday, we decided to head back Saturday afternoon instead. We took the new high-speed railway back, which, as the name suggests, is pretty fast. It's elevated, based on a Japanese design, and was built to compete with cross-island air travel. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get back.

Well, there is more to say, obviously, which I believe I will leave to a future post for sake of thematics and length of posts. Till soon, BB

School called on a count of rain...

...and heavy winds. That's right, no classes tomorrow due to a typhoon about to grace the northern part of the island with it's torrential winds and rain. Yay for me, I guess, since I have a lot of things to do, one of which, incidentally, involves staying warm and dry. I already got soaked walking home from the bus stop this evening (despite my umbrella).

I also want to blog about this past weekend, which you might find of interest. So, keep your browsers tuned to this spot. Till then, hope your days are sunnier and warmer than my next one is likely to be. Cheers! : )

BB

You can also get good information on this weather pattern at the link below, if you are so inclined. http://www.tealit.com/article_categories.php?section=weather&article=typhoon

If you are one of the (apparently) many who aren't sure about the difference between a typhoon, a hurricane, and a monsoon, click, uh, on one of those links.

Addendum: The nephews and neices came over for the day and helped to bake cookies. Though it did rain pretty much all day, the storm didn't really hit that hard here. The news does indicate that it's going to hit China much harder, as this indicates. Just thought you might like to know.

Nearly accepted

One thing that has been a big change in my life since coming here, besides the new cultural and linguistic immersion, is the increased precedence of my role as uncle. This is due, naturally, to the greater degree of proximity to my two neices and two nephews (ranging from 7 to 2 years old). As they are very cute and energetic and I'm proud to be related to them, I'll warn you now that they are likely to be a consistent theme through the course of these pages. I've been thinking of introducing them and the family as I go along, and since I have a recent story to tell about the youngest, I might as well start with her.

Being the youngest, everyone calls her MeiMei [妹妹] (sounds like 'may-may') which means 'little sister', though her real nickname is 'TangTang' (tahng-tahng) as she was born on the same day a typhoon hit the island. That typhoon was code-named 'HaiTang' [海棠], thus, 'TangTang' [棠棠]. Her real name is something else, which I can't even remember at the moment. I'll refer to her most often as MeiMei, for your information.

If you can't tell, she's quite adorable. Though like many kids her age (2), she suffers a strong case of separation anxiety when her mother has to be away, even for a minute or two. Ergo, she has constructed a tight circle of trusted confidants around her, among which (as I've observed) only her mother and grandmother and father and grandfather are members, as well as her 4-yr old brother (whom she generally idolizes). There is, further, a strict hierarchy even in this short list of select few. For instance, if her mother has to run errands to which MeiMei may not attend, only her grandmother may suitably fill the central role of comforter and pacifier. A long bout of fury and wailing is required, of course, before the accompanying feelings of loss and abandonment are fully appeased and the necessary shift of alignments may occur. Also, only the above few may pick her up, or do anything that would otherwise attend to her personal needs. Even then, it is only conducted either at her capricious whim or unarguable necessity. Her entertainment, however, is an important exception. This may be accomplished by anyone who attempts to suit her fancy, and she graciously bestows her utterly charming smile on all who succeed (which, thankfully, is pretty often).

I, having been present only a short period of her life, am obviously not among her closest trustees, though I have been working to gain a small amount of her affections through my attempts at entertainment. At dinner one night, I came surprisingly close to success. We were nearly finished eating, and I could see that MeiMei, sitting by her mother at the opposite side of the table, was getting bored. In apparent attempts to appease herself, she kept raising her hand and bringing it down quickly on top of the tray of her high chair. I devised a game where every time Meimei lifted her arm, I would corrsepondingly raise my head. She quickly caught on that the lifting of my head seemed to be under her control, like a puppet on a string. She found this highly amusing, naturally. She even succeeded in tricking me a couple of times by only pretending to lower her hand, but in fact raising it quickly instead, thus causing me to lower my head in contradiction to her completed action. This game was so successful that, to my profound astonishment, she asked her mother to move her high chair next to my seat at the table. Wow, I thought, I'm among the elite! -- even YT or Karrie would have difficulty making such a claim.

Dutifully, Caro got up and moved MeiMei in her highchair to accompany me. My elation, however, was short-lived, crushed as it was by MeiMei's immediate and vociferous wailing in objection to her mother's move back toward the other side of the table. MeiMei was quickly returned in her high chair to her original location, and it was obvious that I was no trusted confidant.

Despite the harsh rejection, I realize now that the role of entertainer is perhaps the best and most suitable anyway. Lots of rewarding smiles, but none of the dirty diapers. Cheers to Uncle-hood!
BB

NOTE: For the purposes of full disclosure, these photos were actually taken last year, when MeiMei was 1yr old, by someone other than myself. I think YT, or one of her sisters, took the photos. So, they don't reflect MeiMei's current age or, unfortunately, my own skills in photography. They do, however, reflect MeiMei herself, and she's still just as adorable.

Watching Flowers Bloom

Chalk up a new thing on my list of experiences I never thought I would have. Okay, don't expect a rush of adrenaline (it wasn't all that exciting), but last night the whole family (YT's sisters Caro & Karrie and their respective husbands and children) came over for a special event. It wasn't just for the sake of coming over (as they often do). This time, the event was the blooming of a special flower that supposedly opens only once a year. It's called 'tan hua' [曇花], and it only opens at night. Dad was really excited the whole evening. The bloom hangs down from the plant like a meat hook, and looks sort of like a wadded-up ball of socks. Then, it opens gradually into a huge white flower with spindles floating off of the sides. It fully bloomed around 930pm, at which point we went outside to accompany Dad on the deck to admire the flowers.

Then guess what we had in our soup at dinner tonight? Yep, tan hua, at least the ones that had bloomed already. Later in the evening tonight, Dad saw that more flowers had bloomed, which was surprising since they had already come out in the spring. Dad said it was because YT was back and they were celebrating : ) Other family came this evening (YT's aunt & uncle, Aunt Meinu, and a cousin and her child) and the process was repeated. More sitting around and chatting, and eating lots of fruit.

At any rate, in the US, I've never had the chance to sit around with family watching flowers that only bloom once a year, and then have it for dinner the next night. It seemed like a special thing. We'll see if the flowers are in the soup tomorrow night.
BB