My Christmas Gifts

Well, it's Christmas in Taiwan. Merry Christmas to you all. I'm at school waiting for class to start. Were it not for the months-long reminders from the Christmas tree in the lobby and the carols playing at the coffee stand out front, all ostensibly building up to today, it would be a day just like any other. I've been abroad over Christmas before, but this time it just feels different. Yesterday I heard a student wishing her (much older) teacher a merry Christmas, and the response was "Well, everyday should be happy, not just Christmas." She's right, of course, but I couldn't help being taken aback a bit by what seemed like a 'scrooge-like' response. She basically repudiated all those making a deal out of the holiday, most of whom just think it's fun and want to have a good time. I guess maybe she's just not sure what to make of all the Christmas hubbub. I must admit that I've had sort of the same attitude here this year.

As I'd written earlier, the Christmas trees and songs in the stores have been up and on since at least Thanksgiving, and my nephews have been singing Christmas carols in English that they learned in school, and seem to know nearly as many as I did at that age. Almost. I know it's "my culture" and it might make it seem more "like home", and I should feel honored, perhaps. But as a participant here, and putting aside all the obvious issues of cultural imperialism, it just seems to be a hollow shell of what Christmas is supposed to be about. Personally, I could do without the imported 'festivity', the empty jingles and glitz, the 'civil religious' practices that commercialism feeds upon. It feels like the shallow skin was skimmed off the warm milk of Christmas and that's all I'm left with; all of the symbols, none of the meaning. I guess it just leaves me feeling a bit empty inside. Even the Christmas service I attended at church on Saturday, which was geared entirely toward children, left me wanting for a bit more. I never minded this so much in my other times abroad, but I guess it now just makes me feel farther from home.

I think, in response, the last few weeks I've been trying to combat the reminders, hoping Christmas really would be a day just like any other. I didn't really even participate in giving gifts this year. But, like Scrooge, it didn't seem to work that way for me. Ok, no visits from ghosts of any kind, but let me just say I encountered some very fine gifts that made it a memorable season.

I've really enjoyed the care package that Mom sent. It was nice to receive the Christmas cookies and 'stocking gifts' and calendar (homemade this year!), so at least I was able to enjoy some things of the season. The last few days, though, YT had been singing Christmas carols to me by webcam. I could really only listen, because the time delay didn't really allow singing in unison. I don't know why, but that gesture filled me with a different sense of nostalgia each time, various visions of Christmas past. Most of the time it made me feel like a kid back at Grandma's house. More effective than Bing Crosby, it was truly the gift of the Christmas spirit.

The other came yesterday on Christmas Eve, and it was one of those that you never see coming. I met with my 'culture' class teacher, where we often discuss things about history and politics. She just asked how I celebrated Christmas this year, and I explained that I went to the Christmas service at church, but since it was mostly geared toward children it wasn't quite the same (of course) in my own experiences. She acknowledged that the expression of Christmas here must seem 'shallow', and that I must miss being around others with the same beliefs and traditions. I can't remember exactly how she said it, but it rather hit the nail on the head. I felt like she was the first person here that really understood, and that felt very good. That was a nice gift in itself.

But then she asked me to explain a bit more, and I talked about Christmas Eve services at home and the music and singing. Then she also asked what the word 'Christ' meant, and I basically expounded on the concepts of the Messiah, the context of Rome and the Jewish power structures at the time, and God in Jesus as the 'servant-leader'; essentially, the foundations of my faith. Ok, it was mostly me talking, with my teacher correcting grammar usage and vocabulary as needed. However, she has had some of these questions for many years, and genuinely wanted to know. I don't know what she thought at the end, but the discussion helped me turn myself around and realize again that Christmas isn't really about gifts and decorated trees, of course, and it isn't only about spending time with family and friends and like-minded people. It was a needed reminder that Christmas is about Jesus, pure and simple. That is the best gift of them all -- the 'true' meaning of Christmas.

I will leave you with that, and with wishes for a truly Merry Christmas. BB

Happy holidays

This is going to be a very different Christmas for me.

I've been having trouble getting my advisor to read my dissertation. Many reasons, but I'll just say that it's almost all written and the rest of it is basically out of my control now. So, my original defense date in December was postponed to January. There has been a lot of discussion with Brian about whether I should go back to Taiwan now and return to the US in April to defend my dissertation, or just hang in there for a couple more weeks and go home with a PhD degree. And I/we chose the latter. I double-confirmed with my advisor today, and he said that I will be able to defend in mid-January. But, knowing him, I guess I'll have to wait and see. But I'm optimistic and feel good about it.

So, this is going to be a difficult Christmas for me. I not only have to work a lot on the finishing touches of my dissertation, as well as the presentation for the defense, but I also have to do it during the "supposed-to-be-happy" holiday season without Brian. I do miss Brian and my family a lot, but I really want to get rid of the PhD burden ASAP so that I can enjoy my time in Taiwan with them more fully.

I won't be totally left alone for the holidays, though, even though most of my friends will be out of town. Some good friends are coming back to Pittsburgh for a family visit, and I'll spend a morning with them. Also, Brian's parents will arrive in Pittsburgh this weekend and we will have our own family Christmas (with Chad too, of course), and then they will head on to Lancaster, PA for the extended family Christmas gatherings. (I'm sorry that I won't be there this year, but I hope you all have a great time.) A friend from PMC (Pittsburgh Mennonite Church) also invited me over to her house on Christmas day, so I think I'll be doing alright. At least I'll be productive and also have a little bit of fun as well.

It's a nice feeling knowing that the road to the PhD is coming to an end. There is still a chance that I won't get enough feedback on my dissertation over the holidays, but I can only keep praying that this won't happen again. So, your prayer will be very appreciated.

That's all for now. Hopefully my next post will deliver you good news.

Wish you all a happy holiday and a wonderful year of 2008.

Yahtyng

No white Christmas for me

So, some of you might know that Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I think it mainly has something to do with celebrating the holidays together with my aunts & uncles and cousins at Grandma and Grandpa's (both my mom & dad's sides). I've always enjoyed the annual ritual of piling into the car early in the morning and driving, not just over the river and through the woods, but basically all across Ohio and western and central Pennsylvania. It was a long trip. My brother and I spent many a good hour making up games, reading good books, getting dad to tell us stories, fighting as kids do, watching the traffic and scenery go by, and enjoying captive but quality family time.

Getting there was only part of the fun, of course. I've always enjoyed being with relatives and hanging out with cousins, and I value the sense of shared history and traditions that have accrued over the years. Things are, of course, different now that the family has multiplied, and not only cousins, but cousins-in-law and first-cousins-once-removed have added to our ranks. We've been nearly running out of space at Grandma's for quite a while, and this year my aunt's mother is farming out their space to us. Grandma's still cooking, though : ). So, the traditions carry on, but evolve over time. I guess that's how things go.

The 25th would be just another day here in Taiwan, but the Christmas trees have been up since at least Thanksgiving, and the Christmas carols have been playing on the radio for many weeks. My nephew and niece have been singing the carols they know and asking me how you say 聖誕老人 (shengdan lao ren; lit. 'Christmas Old Man') in English (Santa Clause, of course). Mom and Dad put up their Christmas tree, too (above), like they do every year. It would almost be just like home ('secularly' or 'commercially', at least), except the temperatures are still in the 'balmy' mid-to upper-60s. There's no heating in the home, though, and Mom & Dad often keep some of the windows open for fresh air (I guess). No White Christmas, but it will still feel a bit chilly : )

So, like other times I've been abroad and missed the holidays, I'll be listening to Handel and Bing Crosby, wishing for Christmas turkey and Grandma's cookies and jello salads, and thinking of everyone. There was one year in China I actually sang "I Wish Me a Merry Christmas", but at least this year I'll have family around to sing it properly.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all, BB